Monday, August 9, 2010

Supermom my @ss!

Who are these women that say you can have it all?  It's easy to balance the chaos of life.  These women have time to be wonderful wives who take care of their husbands.  They're magnificent mothers to their children.  They meet all their requirements at work without breaking a sweat.  Dinner's on the table by 6pm and it's a 5 course meal.  The laundry is done, the house is clean.  And sometime in the middle of all of this they find time to work-out, getting in shape for a triathlon or marathon and read several top best sellers!

I call bullshit!  These women must have help!  A cleaning lady, a nanny, a chef - someone must be helping them pull this off!  And it's not just their husbands.

I'm back to work full-time now and I'm trying to figure out how to balance everything!  Initially I was trying to get up, nurse the baby, work out, get ready for work, help John get the girl ready for daycare, have breakfast as a family and commute into the office..needless to say that's a lot to fit into a 2 hours before work!  When the boy's night wakings became hourly the working out feel to the wayside and I'm struggling to get myself out of bed - let along the girl!

So, now we're trying to set a morning groove - but I really think we need to get up earlier - but it seems more and more we're going to bed later and getting up earlier.  I just don't know how we're going to balance this all out!  Some days I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends and my body feels like it's taking a beating!

Not enough sleep, not enough exercise, too much time sitting on my butt at work and at home isn't going to make this any easier.  How do I find time to take care of me so I can take care of my kids and my husband?  I'm exhausted by 9pm and still have 2 more hours to go, finishing laundry, packing lunch, making bottles of expressed breast milk for t boy, preparing juice and milk for the girl, clean-up of dinner dishes!  I'm sure John's feeling the same way, because a lot of the time he's the one doing all of this while I'm feeding the boy.

The house is a disaster - I've decided to bring the cleaning lady back - at least it will get a good cleaning two times a month and to me that is worth the cost because I hate to clean.  And if I'm gonna' clean its got to be white glove clean - I can't half-ass it.  It would take an entire Saturday to just get 1-2 rooms done to that standard.  And I don't want to be spending what free time I have cleaning when I could be spending it with the kids and John.

I also need to purge the office -yet again. Didn't I just do that?  I need to purge clothes, shoes, books and crap we don't need or use.  Actually, I have the urge to burn everything in the house we don't use on a regular basis, guess its actually time to "clean sweep" the whole house.  When can I find time to do this?!? I'm going to have to call in my professional organizer pretty soon to help with the de-cluttering of the house before it explodes with crap!

Thankfully I no longer have to try to balance school any more too!  Somehow I managed to finish my last masters class for my masters program during the last trimester of my pregnancy, while on bed-rest, and having the baby.  I graduated!  I have a masters degree! There's something those wonder women didn't do!  Work full time, have two kids and have a decent relationship with their husbands.  Score: Wonder Women: Gazillion, Me: 1.

Eventually I'm going to have to figure this out.  I have to. I need to be able to be present when I'm with the girl and the boy.  I also need to be present with John.  I need to be present with myself.  If I'm not present it's not fair to the kids, John or me.  Life isn't about showing up, its about participating and sharing the experience with the people I love

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